The Learning Momma

Light Schooling through the Summer

May 24, 2019June 6, 2019 by Ki Galvan

Do you school year-round, or take the summer off?

I always like the idea of giving my kids long, “school”-free summers, but it’s never the reality.

Mostly because they thrive on some bit of structure (though obviously they spend most of their time in free play because I’m the world’s biggest advocate in that). And also, I want to make sure they retain the information they’re learning, and don’t slide back.

Now that Sweet M has officially joined the school bandwagon – by choice – I didn’t really do anything outside of lots and lots of reading with Miss H and Mr. B in their preschool years, I’ve really had to put some thought into what each one of them is doing because I have to prioritize our time with a family of soon-to-be five kids. But it’s worth it!

So although we don’t do full curriculum schooling over the summer, there is still some structured schooling going on. My kids call it “light schooling.”

So what are they all working on over the summer?

Miss H is officially doing spelling and math. She is such an avid and voracious reader, that I haven’t felt as compelled to do much with her in formal terms after she completed all of the All About Reading program (which seriously, I cannot rave enough about!). Her spelling, however, is just not there. And I know, I know, it takes time, and not everyone is going to win the spelling bee. But at 9, officially a 4th grader, even simple words are very kreatyv. But I will be honest, we’ve tried several different spelling programs and philosphies, and nothing yet has “clicked” for her. So I’m still searching.

For math we have really been enjoying Math Lessons for a Living Education. Again, we’ve tried several over the years, and this is the first that both she and Mr. B have both really enjoyed. We are also working on memorizing her times tables through 12. She isn’t as keen on that, but hey. There are some things you just gotta know.

We’re also doing a bit of geography with everyone, fun cooking from around the world, and lots and lots of reading literature.

Mr. B is working on reading and math primarily. He’s still working through All About Reading Level 1 with the enticing incentive that once he is reading fairly fluently and independently, he can finally download Minecraft. He’s taken a little longer to catch on to reading, and I am okay with that; everyone learns at their own pace. But I do know he’d be so much happier if he could read independently because he wants to, he just also doesn’t like things that are hard work.

He is also buzzing through the same math as Miss H, because math and science are really his strong points, and I want to keep him busy in things he loves, too. Obviously. I don’t want to ever crush his love of learning.

And Sweet M? He’s pretty much got his colors and shapes down like a pro, and he’s super interested in his letters, so I got him the Illustrated Alphabet book and big bananagrams and he’s having a lot of fun learning about recognizing letters and their sounds. I’m thinking may incorporate some number games as well, and maybe even these feelings flashcards, because he’s been having a hard time expressing and identifying his feelings at times. It’s been a pretty big year for him. But he really wants to “do school” like his big brother and sister, so I figure that isn’t in the too far off distance for him!

Miss H’s First Communion

May 21, 2019May 23, 2019 by Ki Galvan

I’m not going to go into the debacle of what was originally supposed to be Miss H’s first communion back in April. Let’s just say the world should be really happy that J and I are both super easy going individuals, haha.

So Miss H ended up receiving her first communion this past Sunday. And it was beautiful and emotional (for me), and a long time coming.

I was baptized Catholic as an infant, but I wasn’t raised Catholic. I wasn’t really raised as anything, so it’s intriguing in some ways that it’s where I teetered back to.

I had the privilege of attending a Catholic high school, by choice, for two years before moving back to Indiana, although I did not remotely identify or practice as Catholic then. It wasn’t until I began my sophomore year of college, a little overwhelmed from the cards I’d been dealt that summer, that I really started to seek a quiet refuge in the idea of religion.

There are a lot of things I probably don’t agree with in the Catholic Church as a whole. I also genuinely do not care if my children grow to decide they want to be Buddhist or Atheist or whatever. It’s their journey, not mine. I’m happy to share with them how I came to this place, but it’s not my choice to decide what or how they believe. That’s up to them.

I was confirmed in the Catholic Church while I was living in England the year before J and I wed, and I knew if I was going to do marriage I wanted it to be a through the Church, for better or for worse. J was born and raised Catholic, and though he was not, and is not, very much a practicing Catholic, he has always whole heartedly supported my decisions and precarious faith.

We gave H and B the choice to participate in religious education classes and whether or not they wanted to take the steps toward their first communion (B still has another year of classes before he is there) and both said yes. And they’ve both definitely enjoyed their classes more than actual mass, haha. Which I don’t blame them. The few Christmas masses I sat through as a kid I wasn’t particularly fond of. It wasn’t until I was an adult.

Anyway, H’s first communion came. The babies were wild so J ended up outside with them and missed the whole thing, which I know made her a little sad, and J, too. But that’s just life sometimes.

I cried. Because that’s what I do. And by cried I got teary-eyed because I very rarely truly cry. But she was beautiful and it was a beautiful moment and I’m so glad that for now, it’s the path she is choosing is right for her heart.

And her heart is so big and so full of love and goodness, I sometimes can’t believe she came from J and I. She is definitely proof that it is so much nature, and only a sliver of nurture, as much as we sometimes want to believe otherwise.

And I am so, so thankful, that God felt like we deserved Miss H in our lives, and that we are remotely good enough to be a part of her life’s journey, because she is truly one of the best people I know.

Another Kid is (Mostly) Potty Learned

May 9, 2019 by Ki Galvan

I’ve talked about potty learning before. And the thing is, I’m not some kind of professional, or wizard, with lots of sage advice or tricks up my sleeve.

But also. It’s been really easy with all my kids thus far.

Miss H was kind of magical, I admit. We had no idea what we were doing and zero plans. J and I hadn’t even discussed potty learning. Like, it wasn’t even a thought in our minds. But she went every where we did, so naturally, she got super curious about the potty early on. At 14 months she was asking to sit on the potty, and by 16 months she was wearing chonies (underwear) pretty much full time during the day (nighttime is a different story).

Mr. B had zero interest in the potty so I assumed he’d be my kid in diapers until he was 3 and I wasn’t really that concerned because I just don’t have the time or energy to stress over those sorts of things. Like, whether he used the toilet on his own at 18 months or age 5 didn’t make a difference to me; either way I wouldn’t be changing his diapers in college. But low and behold, a little over a month before his second birthday he asked for chonies with airplanes while shopping one day. We bought them, he put them on at home, and that was that. Literally. I think he maybe had three accidents after that. Ever.

Sweet M was pretty much as easy, but we were in Hawaii and I was more hesitant to put him in chonies full time, even once he was very consistently using the potty, because omg. Traffic. Honolulu traffic is nothing like Midwest traffic and I really didn’t want accidents in the car seats because that’s a pain to clean out. (But I also wash their car seats way too frequently because – food. So I probably shouldn’t have worried.) Anyway, on his 2nd birthday I pulled the trigger, put him in chonies, told him no more diapers, and that was that. He had a very small handful of accidents that week, but none in the car. Though there were a few days when we’d have to pull over several times in a 30 minute span for him to go potty, but whatevs. It was short lived fun and that was that.

I figured Bean was going to be it then. She’d be the one in diapers forever. But just like all the others, she showed an early interest. And at 20 months, I haven’t pulled the trigger on no diapers at all, but she is naked or in chonies 90% of the time, and has approximately 0-2 accidents a day. Again, it’s more me than anything, I imagine. She’s pretty committed (there is definitely a thrill for her when she squeals “shi shi in the potty, Mommy!” as we are driving down the road), and most of the accidents occur in situations where she does tell me (because I don’t believe in taking a kid to the potty every x amount of minutes, because that’s too much work and I’m too lazy for that, haha), but we just don’t get to a toilet fast enough. Fortunately, it’s getting warm though so she can rock the t-shirt and chonies look, and it makes things easier. She’s been the most drawn out process of all of my kids, but even still, it’s been easy and stress free.

I figure most kids likely have the ability to be potty learned early on. I know it’s common place in many other countries. Again though, I’m not an expert.

Being present, being aware and alert, offering lots of opportunities where they can choose the potty, talking about the potty, reading about the potty, and not stressing or forcing it all seem to have been and currently be pretty important key components for all of my kiddos in potty learning.

And before you think I just have super easy, malleable kids, I assure you, I do not. Not one of them is “easy,” but damn, they’re all loveable and amazing. Bean’s current favorite two phrases are “I don’t like that” and “I don’t want that.” And she wears the same ratty dinosaur dress her Aunt Bucky bought her almost every single day by shrill-shrieking choice (it’s probably why I always call her my sweet, angel baby, haha). My kids are stubborn and opinionated, but they also like to be in charge. And having control where their potty learning is concerned makes them feel quite mighty, I infer.

Having us praise them every time they succeed, and not being upset or frustrated when they don’t quite make it, makes it a smooth-sailing, stress-free process.

And now that Bean is pretty much out of diapers (except on the playground, I am still mostly worried she is going to pee on the slide and ruin it for everyone, ha), I guess we will see how sweet Fimito decides to finish our potty learning easy streak.

Until then.

Constantly Playing Catch Up

May 8, 2019 by Ki Galvan

This past year has really thrown me for a loop. I constantly feel like I’m playing catch up, and I’m always the person who had my essays written weeks before they were ever due. I read all the books for class the summer before classes even started. I had an entire years worth of birthday cards all ready written, addressed, and stamped, filed away for each month of the year for all of my friends and family.

And now?

Shit. Now I’m throwing together lunches for my kids seconds before we are headed out the door, and I honestly don’t know they last time I sent a birthday card.

Sorry. For real. I wish I was more on top of it, but this past year has just knocked me on my butt.

I don’t even really have a good excuse, other than we went from living the Aloha life where we had a flourishing community and my husband was actually home on the daily, to back to Midwest where M-F is spent parenting alone, and most of my time is spent alone with two adorable toddlers, and a sweet, surprise baby is on the way, and I’m really just tired. Like really tired. But I also don’t want to be so tired and behind that I miss it all because this is my dream.

Like really and truly. I am living my dream. So I don’t know how I can always be so behind and tired when I literally have everything I could ever want right here. Well, except maybe for my husband Monday through Friday because I actually super like him too.

I’m trying to make myself be more intentional. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the mundane of it all. Sometimes I forget to pause and breathe. That it’s okay if the laundry isn’t put away or that the floors don’t get vacuumed three times a day. Because lets be honest, my house doesn’t look any different when it all gets done as opposed to when it doesn’t (but I notice how good those baseboards look after I’ve washed them down. And there is some sweet satisfaction there).

We finally have beautiful weather and so we are basically living outside these days, and it’s pretty glorious. I’m starting to feel energized and awake again. Although my three-year-old is testing every ounce of extreme patience I have, I definitely have more to give when we are living outdoors as opposed to being cooped up inside.

Three year olds. Lord help me. He is just a fabulous, wonderful, delightful little human. Who is also trying to see if can make me throw out all of my respectful and gentle parenting beliefs. I will say thus far, he hasn’t succeeded. Well, maybe other than the moment I told him I’d have to leave him at home alone if he couldn’t pull himself together and be kind to his sister the other day. It wasn’t a proud moment for sure, but also, I like to remind myself it could have been worse. I didn’t yell. I didn’t manhandle him. But I probably shouldn’t have threatened him with abandonment, but what else will he have to discuss in therapy one day otherwise?

We’ve made so many plans this year that didn’t come into fruition, which is hard for me, as an avid planner. I’m also trying to learn to be better at “go with the flow.” J is so darn spontaneous, and I admire and also deplore that about him. I so badly want to be like that, but it’s also kind of maddening at times.

I feel like I’m on a constant quest to declutter and minimize, and I don’t even know how it’s possible when we went from comfortably living in 800 square feet a year ago to now being in nearly 2700 square feet, and I definitely feel more overwhelmed and swallowed up here than I did there. Like how? And why isn’t it possible to get rid of all. the. stuff?

And at the same time I feel like we need more space because I don’t even know where to put kids at this point.

Sweet M just started sleeping on his own this past week, and I put him in B’s room because I don’t want him sharing a room with Bean because she sleeps so darn well that I don’t want to mess it up. And H deserves her own space; she’s 9 and entering tweendom and I want her to have that space. But omg. Mr. B and Sweet M really do love each other, but they also butt heads and should not share a room. Fortunately M is young enough now that all of his toys are pretty much downstairs and his clothes are in Bean’s room, so basically he is just in there to sleep but there have been a lot of sad, “I don’t even have a bedroom!” moments from him and that’s a little gut-wrenching. Though again, I try to remind myself of how good they have it, and that lots of kids share bedrooms (myself having been included!) and it’s totally fine, if not actually beneficial for them in the long run.

But omg. Some days these things just seem so huge. And other days, of course, they don’t. Some days I laugh at how worried I get about such trivial things, and then I just blame pregnancy hormones. And exhaustion. And the deep fear of failing the only thing I’ve ever felt passionate about, which is mothering these sweet humans.

I could say more right now. There is a million things running through my head and this is only the tip of the iceberg. But I knew I needed to sit down and at least start somewhere. For my own sanity. But all the tiny humans are asleep and there is a million other things I need to do right now: order scholastic books, do the dishes, put laundry away, vacuum, and pack lunches. And my bed time is in like 30 minutes so I need to go at the pace of Wonder Woman. Or a cheetah.

I wonder which is fastest when it comes to trying to catch up?

Every Thing Else is Extra

May 3, 2019May 9, 2019 by Ki Galvan

Our 5th baby is due in less than 9 weeks.

What!?

When I was this pregnant with our darling Miss H, I all ready had a full nursery set up, car seat installed in my car, a hefty gender neutral wardrobe washed and folded neatly into a pretty little dresser, boxes of diapers and wipes piled in the closets, tiny little baby towels and wash cloths folded neatly in the cupboard, and every sort of baby contraption you can imagine floating around my house.

Oh, how the tides have changed.

We admittedly got rid of nearly all of our baby stuff before we returned to the mainland last fall. Bean was nearly a year old and we were probably done having babies because it made sense and was practical (I mean, 4 kids probably isn’t practical as is), and although we both talked a lot about having one more (I told J I wanted 5 before we ever got married. He asked it we could start with just 1), we weren’t even sure how we could work it in timing-wise. We had so many plans, and J is always gone, and we kind of had the next few years laid out for ourselves and a sweet new human just didn’t seem to make the cut.

Until he did.

And honestly, it’s the best thing that could have happened. It was a surprise, but not that much of a surprise because, well, we do know how babies are made, even if neither of us ever learned that in middle school health class….

But the planning that has gone in for this darling Fimito is mostly nil. And not because we don’t care about or adore him just as much as that first babe, but the things that seemed so important with that first baby, we’ve learned with each kid isn’t so much so. (Yes, babies need diapers, but otherwise). Also, when you have four other busy, crazy kiddos to chase after, there isn’t a lot of time to sit and ponder and marvel at the tiny life growing within. Except at 2am when you’re awake with Charlie Horse cramps, praying this will be the last of them (the muscle spasms, that is.)

The gadgets and gear aren’t all that important, you learn. We have a crib, not even put together yet, for this babe. Maybe we will use it. Maybe we won’t. He doesn’t have a bedroom anyway, so it’s kind of moot. (Obvs he will be rooming with us for the foreseeable future). There is a car seat from Bean that needs to be washed, and maybe I will install it before we need to use it to take him to the pediatrician the first time. Maybe we won’t. We will see how it goes.

I’ve got a box of newborn cloth diapers to wash. And I did buy three newborn onesies for him and a sailboat gown (because J says if we didn’t have a fifth kid we could have had a sailboat. In the Midwest. He’s almost 50. He’s probably losing it, ha). But mostly, we shall wing it. It’s not like we can’t get things as needed. And who even knows what we will need?

Diapers, milk, a momma, papa, and a bunch of crazy siblings to love him and adore him is all ready in check. Everything else is extra.

Legoland!

April 4, 2019 by Ki Galvan

So I knew we couldn’t venture to Florida and not do a theme park. It seems kind of sacrilegious or something.

The big kids really wanted to go to Universal for Harry Potter World, but I was steadfastly adamant that I would not go while pregnant because I wanted to ride the rides, or without J and someone else who could help with the toddlers who obviously couldn’t ride all the big rides we’d want to ride. Eventually we will get there, but this was just not the time.

I kinda leaned toward Disney because I know it is so super toddler and pregnant-momma friendly, but I also suspect Disney will be in our future again for a longer duration since J typically attends a conference there each year.

Which landed us with Legoland. We’d been there once before and super loved it, but it wasn’t during water park season, so it sounded like a really fun and exciting adventure. Plus, we’d be going with M’s godmother and her two boys, so extra hands for riding the bigger rides that Sweet M and Bean couldn’t ride (or their pregnant momma!).

It was a mega hit and I am so glad it’s the choice we made for this trip! It was low key enough to not be too stressful, but exciting enough to keep six kiddos under the age of 9 thoroughly engaged all day.

55869057_434535727350566_2580467302633832448_n — She’s got the leg pop down…

Also, it was Bean’s very first theme park so that was exciting. And she got there at opening and left at close and didn’t take a nap because she’s a wild party animal like that!

All M wanted was to ride this ride. We did not have enough adult:child ratio and this awesome employee stepped up to the plate to be his riding buddy. I was so genuinely appreciative and thrilled that he made this sweet boy’s whole trip!

It was so much fun to spend the day with our dear friends and watch our little loves play in the water and ride rides until their hearts were content. And I super loved that Legoland had play areas all over the place and within lines of bigger rides, for the younger tykes who weren’t quite big enough for some rides. They had so much fun playing and never felt like they were missing out on the excitement and thrills that their big siblings were partaking.

Savannah and Tybee Island

March 28, 2019March 28, 2019 by Ki Galvan

I’d never been to Savannah before. It was just one of those places I’ve always wanted to visit for it’s historic beauty and charm. J and I had planned to venture down their for my 29th birthday, but then we learned we were headed to Hawaii, so those plans got postponed (not sad about that).

So when I decided I was going to take the kids to visit M’s godmother in Jacksonville, FL, I decided to make Savannah a short getaway before hand.

We got super lucky because the kids’ Grandpa J was all ready in FL, and wanted to join us, so we got to vacation with him for a few days; no one was sad about that!

Grandpa J stopped and picked up this awesome Chicco travel playard for Bean, which I cannot recommend to the world enough. It’s so easy to set up and take down. It comes in an easy to carry and transport travel bag, and as an added bonus has a bassinet attachment. I haven’t thought too much about what we even need for baby Fimito, but we don’t have a bassinet or cosleeper yet, so this is great (albeit it will fit in the small space of our room – I haven’t tried that yet, ha!).

We officially stayed on Tybee Island. Apparently Savannah is all St. Patrick’s Day – who knew? – and Tybee Island does a huge parade the weekend before St. Patty’s Day since Savannah has a huge one the following week. Our condo was a block from where the parade ended, and we all showed up hungry. So we had primo seats at our restaurant for parade watching, and then we went outside when we were finsihed eating to get more up close and personal. The floats were fantastic and the kids had a lot of fun.

Then I took the kiddos over to the beach because they were itching to get their toes in that water! The water was freezing so I didn’t think they’d make it too far, but I ended up walking back to the condo with four very wet kiddos. They certainly didn’t mind though.

We grabbed coffee and smoothies at a nearby little restaurant the next morning before heading to Wormsloe Historic Site.

55615923_2038550153114160_1762298697288253440_n — Sweet M teaching Bean how to hear the ocean in the big conch shells.

It was one of the few things on my “must see” list of Savannah. Basically it encapsulates so much southern beauty; everyone should see it. We walked around the grounds and enjoyed the little historic village area and footpaths. It was definitely Georgia heat though – I’m not sure I can imagine being there in the middle of summer!

Afterwards we were all hungry and decided to try out the Pirate’s House. I’m always leery about restaurants that are well highlighted. I’m afraid there is a lot of hype and maybe won’t actually be so great. J and I typically veer off the beaten path when it comes to eating on travels. But oh my goodness. The Pirate’s House did not disappoint.

The food was so good. Which can be said for all the food we ate while in Savannah and on Tybee Island. And since my life basically revolves around three things things: my kids, traveling, and food – it’s always a good thing when the food is delicious!

Then we headed back to the beach. Because as awesome as my kids are with traveling and doing and seeing all the things their Momma wants – the beach was right there. And they’re all such water babies, that it’s hardly fair to deny them that salve to their souls.

54799044_390278005097252_8769344257946288128_n — Me: I want one picture of the four of you. Bean: But the water is right there!

55457253_997200980670742_820029679099445248_n — These adorable Tea Collection matching swimsuits I snagged at our local baby boutique before vacation when their other suits didn’t arrive in time. Not sad about it at all!

55557095_540169183138763_1222354981001101312_n — There is SAND on my hands, Ma!

55802390_617459172013174_5872410961645666304_n — Let me help you into this hole, sister dear.

55837903_366852710574757_7728007936424804352_n — All my sweet babies in their natural habitat.

55939759_2203609786388410_6057613438962630656_n — Clearly she hates it.

We had hoped to take a trolley tour of Savannah the next day, but it was sold out. Instead we ventured to the University of Georgia Marine Education Center and Aquarium. The kids all especially loved the touch tank. Bean may or may not have put a live hermit crab in her mouth…they’re both doing fine.

It was a super cute and kid-friendly, and the kids seemed to really enjoy it. Outside there was even a little walking path where you could see some of the historic buildings from before it had become a part of the university.

Then we headed over to Forsyth Park for some play. Sweet M desperately wanted a playground and I’d promised him I’d provide him with one before we left Savannah. Forsyth Park was for sure where it was at. I would have loved to venture the park past the playground, but it just wasn’t in the cards for us that day.

We did get to venture to a nearby cafe called Fork & Dagger that had amazing food – can you say pork belly cheese steak? And has began a love affair with iced Cuban coffee for me. All in all, I call it a win!

It was a trip little jaunt in Savannah and on Tybee Island, but oh-so much fun and completely worth it. I cannot wait to return in the future. But the next morning we were off to more excitement…

Driving to Savannah

March 27, 2019 by Ki Galvan

The kids and I managed our first actual vacation without J, and while we all dearly missed him (but that’s whether it’s us traveling without him or he traveling for work without us), I think it was incredibly successful. Not too shabby for four kids and being obviously preggo at this point.

This trip is going to get broken up into a few posts because I’m pressed on time and it’s taken me this long to sit down and write. And maaaaaybe we’ve had a string of illnesses and unfortunate events that has prolonged it all as well, ha. That’s for another day.

I decided to break up our drive to Savannah by staying over in Asheville, NC. The distance to Savannah wasn’t too shabby, but I figured it’d be nice to break it up a wee bit. And I really wanted to go through Knoxville because I’d read an article somewhere about Yassin Falafel House and it being rated the friendliest restaurant in the U.S. Add on top that the owners are apparently Syrian refugees and there is falafel – it made perfect sense that we should create an entire route in order to stop there.

Our first stop of the morning was Starbucks because I left home early enough that I still needed more coffee, and kids were ready to get out to stretch and go potty. I was pretty happy that we made it to Franklin, KY before needing to stop. We are becoming champion travelers. And I was worried about Bean and Sweet M a little bit, because although they’ve done a few big drives all ready, they’re still Hawaiian babies at heart, and don’t understand being in the car for more than an hour. Or the cold. Or dismal weather. Or all the things we shouldn’t understand anyway because they’re not what makes us happy (can you tell I’m over winter over here?).

56140453_2036934163273298_4572494944362561536_n

The kids played Hungry Hippo at Starbucks (another perk – Starbucks typically has games to play!) and we took our time. I really didn’t want to have to hurry at all or feel stressed on this trip. I wanted it to be smooth sailing. And really, I totally understand that it’s basically me setting that tone with everyone, so again, lots of coffee makes the world go round.

We were all eager for falafel though. Okay, maybe the boys weren’t totally excited, but Miss H was sharing my enthusiasm because I was really talking it up and she loves to indulge me because she likes her status as favorite oldest child.

Guys. Yassin Falafel House did not disappoint. I will find a reason to go through there again some day with J because I know he’d love it too. The kids all loved everything they ate. The employees were so friendly, not mention just the customers as well. So many commented on how sweet my kids were (and I’d agree, no one was screaming!), and how blessed I am (I am, I know). One employee even offered to help me out to my car (other than babies I just had a small bag of pita and hummus to go, and was definitely not struggling – they’re just that nice.) Seriously. If you’re in Knoxville. Or Tennessee in general. Or like even the midwest, find a reason to stop in. And no one is paying me to say this. For real. You’ll be happy you went.

54169373_2417912348437703_5525352762038026240_n — I swear B really was happy here.

We didn’t make it too far out of Knoxville before M declared he had to poop. Kids are fun. So we stopped for gas and then went into Wendy’s for frosties so he could do his business. No kids were sad about an impromptu ice cream break. Promise.

56255503_2025397967558596_6016249072791322624_n — I can also tell you, that looking at this onesie makes me want to sob a little bit, because I weaned Bean on this trip, totally on a whim. She didn’t mind, but omg. I’ve never weaned a kid before – they all did it themselves.

We made it to our hotel in Asheville around dinner/bedtime (my kids go to bed early – most people’s dinner time!). I could not for the life of me get Bean’s pack n play to set up. I was literally in tears. So I finally threw her in bed with me, so needless to say I got zero sleep because as much as she loves me, she does not love sleeping with me. I’m not sure where we got this baby, because all the other kids would still sleep on top of me if I let them (well, one still does). She woke up about every hour (she typically sleeps 11-13 hours straight – eep!), and would kick me and tell me “off now!”

Anyway, the next morning while Sweet M, Bean and I were cuddled in bed watching cartoons – hadn’t even gotten up to pee yet! – our hotel room phone rang and scared the bejeezus out of me. I rushed to answer it (the big kids were still sleeping) and it was the lobby telling me that someone had called because of a noise complaint from our room for jumping. I let them know we weren’t even up yet, but the gentleman was pretty dismissive.

In all of our years of traveling, we’ve never had a complaint, noise or otherwise, against us, so I was a little shaken. I woke the big kids up and rushed everyone out of the hotel asap, forgetting that piece of shit pack n play in the process. I was flustered.

I was trying so hard to let it go, but it was really gnawing on me. Like, there are for sure times when my kids are level 10 cray cray and we probably should have someone complain about us, but this was not it. Like not even almost. So I finally called J pretty upset and told him what happened, and he promptly called the hotel. Turns out that over an hour after we’d left, the same person called complaining about us again. Except we hadn’t been there for over an hour, so…they either weren’t complaining about us, or had simply seen kids go into that room the night before and assumed it’d be a problem and were sour patches. Either way, the hotel fully reimbursed us for our stay there, which was very unexpected but nice of them.

And then we were almost to the beach, so it was all behind us…

Morgan Mayhem is 3!

February 19, 2019February 27, 2019 by Ki Galvan

It’s kind of that age-old question of which came first: the chicken or the egg?

Is we Mayhem because we named him so? Or did we name him Mayhem because we knew?

It’s crazy that somehow this baby that was so deeply wanted and prayed for, literally for years is three years old. All those years of longing for him seemed like eternity, and yet the years we’ve been so blessed to have with him have utterly flown by.

He is such a fun little guy. He is full of more zest and spitfire and energy with a touch of cray cray than I ever could have predicted. And I was predicting he’d be a hand full as is.

He is a chupi-lover and doesn’t seem to be parting with that anytime soon. And J and I have made our peace with that. We wouldn’t throw out a stuffie he was deeply attached to and brought him significant comfort; we won’t do that with his pacifier, even though we always said we wouldn’t have a “big baby” with a pacifier. Oh, and is this three year old of ours so big! How humbling parenting is.

Sweet M has had such an epic third year of life. He went from beach-living on Oahu, to traipsing through Europe for a month, to moving to the Midwest.

He’s got the little brother role down pat, and is utterly attached to his big sister. He loves his big brother, but probably loves driving him crazy even more. Whoops.

And he’s learning how to be a helpful big brother to his little sister. He adores her to pieces, but is definitely having a harder time as she progresses into toddlerhood. He definitely still sees her as a baby, and wants her to be so (he is very excited to be getting another baby sibling this summer!). But he also loves her ability to play with him, and he adores teaching her new things.

He is pretty obsessed with play dough and board games. And books. So many, many books.

He loves helping his papa cook. Maybe because he seems to love eating as much as his momma.

He is starting life as a 3 year old with cool, blue glasses, and bunch of missing curls. Although I want nothing more than to turn back the clock and keep him tiny, I’m so grateful that I get to watch him grow into such a fun, creative, and spunky little boy.

When Motherhood is Lonely

February 10, 2019February 10, 2019 by Ki Galvan

I don’t have rose-colored glasses (or rainbow ones, either!) on when I recall our time in Hawaii. I’m well aware that as much sunshine and rainbows that were there, it wasn’t in all the moments.

There was red dirt that ruined all of our clothes. The August heat and lack of air conditioner made me consider skipping the island before we’d hardly had the chance to know it. The traffic is insane. The cost of living is outrageous. Rats and cockroaches are a thing. Legitimately. And have nothing to do with the cleanliness of your home. And the house itself? It was 800 square feet for a whole lot of us.

But, you know what else was there?

We had a huge yard with a coconut tree (home of said rats). So we had fresh coconuts at our disposal. A plumeria tree in the front of our house that was perfect for climbing and swinging. And the view? That view of Diamond Head and Waikiki was killer. With a weekly fireworks show just for us that we could watch out our living room window on Friday nights.

We were always hiking and climbing and playing. And the beach. I didn’t think I was a “beach person” until living in Hawaii. Until that was a part of our daily lives. I crave the ocean now. The waves, the sea salt, the sand between my toes. It visits me in so many of my dreams now that I know its woven into the threads of my soul whether I like it or not.

But the best part? It was the community. The people. The ones I knew and loved intimately and the ones I passed in the grocery store. The uncles who sang songs to my fussy toddler while we waited in the grocery line, or slipped him a piece of candy. The aunties who watched my kids at the beach as vigilantly as I watched theirs, and loved mine nearly as much as I love them myself. The people who made motherhood a beautiful experience even during the most challenging of times.

The mommas who passed clothes and shoes down onto my kiddos, who piled into tiny houses with gaggles of kids running around, who broke bread and fed each other and never questioned or expected anything in return, even though it often came tenfold.

Not once in Hawaii did the sentiment of “motherhood is lonely” cross my mind. And that had been the only sentiment of motherhood that had been steadfast from the moment I brought my first baby into this world.

I thought motherhood was meant to be done in isolation. I thought it was a sacrifice you made. You spent your days alone, with your children, and that was that. If you wanted to be with your children you didn’t get to have anything else. Know anyone else. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too, you know?

And that’s how it is here. That’s what I know best. Occasional dinners with friends, but not the daily friendships and community of mothers working together. Teaching, raising, disciplining, loving all their children together in a community where no one is ever alone unless they wish to be.

I think I would have been content if we hadn’t lived a different life, a different way. I think if I’d never known that it could have been different, I would have made a way to be at peace with the way our modern, western society says motherhood must be.

But I know. I know different now. I know better now. I watched not only my children, but myself thrive in a different way of life. And once you go from thriving back to just surviving, it’s soul crushing.

Don’t get me wrong, we don’t sit around lamenting what is no longer. Not all the time anyway. It’s in the small moments that it’s so evident what we’re lacking. And in those small moments when I find myself struggling to help find ways for my children to best thrive in this life scenario, without also teaching them that I agree with the livelihood or lack thereof that is the rat race; the “keeping up with Joneses.”

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Motherhood is weird. A time and place where you have so many thoughts and so many desires, and at the end of the day they don’t matter because the focus and intent is so centralized on what is best for your children in order for them to thrive and grow as well-rounded, happy, empathetic humans (as it should be, and the only way I would have it be).

And sometimes, depending on where you are, that just means that motherhood is lonely.