Enough

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Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m enough. 

I get frustrated. Exasperated. Touched out. 

I’ve bit my tongue to the point of blood while controlling my words and my temper so I can be the very best role model for my babies. I want them to be loving and empathetic people who don’t lash out or harm others or spend their adult life trying to overcome and unlearn the examples around them. 

Sometimes the task seems so impossible that I want to just throw in the towel: apologize and run away because I won’t ever be quite good enough for them. 

I fall short. 

Every single day. 

I say things I don’t mean and I apologize for my humanity. 

I can’t settle for “good enough” because that means I give up trying to be better. Perfection is unobtainable; I know that. But every day I challenge myself to be a little bit better than I was yesterday. 

Because they’re worth it. 

Sunday wad Mother’s Day and I can’t imagine ever receiving lavish gifts I don’t need, and I don’t desire time without the very babes who make me Momma: but my little girl brought me flowers the evening before. “Because you’re my Momma and you deserve them. They’re beautiful just like you!” She beamed. 

Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m enough. 

But sometimes my feelings just don’t matter; my kids always think I’m enough.

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