Y’all, I married the best human out there.
Not only is his amazing at…everything (he is kind, patient, honest, takes conference calls while wearing fussy babies, gave his favorite coat to a homeless man, will drop everything to help a friend, AND is hardworking), but he’s taught me a lot both about myself and how I view others.
Before I met J, I was pretty confident that people who weren’t “book smart” weren’t so because either they didn’t care enough and didn’t want to be, or because they were lazy (please don’t lynch me; I know better now!).
Academics always came easy to me, even in college. I literally wrote A+ papers over literature I never even read. I didn’t get what the big deal was.
Then there was J. He was working on his Master’s degree when we got together. He wrote his thesis when Miss H was just an infant.
It turned out the very first class he’d taken had expired. And between a very demanding work schedule, a new family, and some learning differences that made everything more challenging for him than your average Joe (you guys, he didn’t even learn to read until he was in college due to undiagnosed dyslexia and a slew of teachers who simply never cared), he got stuck in a vicious cycle of taking one class and then a previous one expiring, etc. The only way to catch up was to take several classes in one semester which was literally impossible (he was all ready working 10 hours a day, and then spending 5-8 hours a day on school work for one class).
By the time Mr. B was born J had withdrawn from the program. It seemed like an ugly defeat.
But as the years went by, it was still something he needed to do. More importantly, wanted to do.
He hadn’t done all that work for nothing. He didn’t want to show our babies that you just throw in the towel because something seems impossibly hard.
Some people are fortunate. They have a special knack for acdemics and so it’s easy. Or they have the ability to worry about classes and only classes, not a career or a family of both on the side. Yes, some people are lucky that way. But most aren’t. And you don’t just give up because you didn’t get dealt easy cards in life.
You suck it up and sallyforth.
And that’s just what J did. He re-enrolled into his Master’s program. He took classes and petitioned for old ones to be accepted and had another baby and literally slept for less than 3 hours a night. I’m not lying when I say I genuinely have no idea how he functioned.
And he still rocked a fussy infant and built robots and a playhouse with our kids and didn’t bat an eyelash when I would declare I needed a break and was going to grab dinner with friends.
But he did it. And we rang in the new year with him officially done. He’d done it. He’d finished. That engineer joined the ranks of those with a Master’s degree and I have never been more proud of another human in my life.
Because he did it. He did it while being a stellar husband, papa, employee, and friend. He did it without complaint. No grimace nor grumble.
Just the determination of a man who knows his self worth, and is going to make sure his children always know theirs.