Santa: What Do You Want For Christmas?

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My kids believe in  Santa Claus.

Y’all, I have tried. They know all about the real St. Nicholas and his life as an orphan and how he went on to help other orphans. They know that St. Nicholas is dead and that he is the whole idea that Santa Claus is based off of.

Do they care? Do they care that I have made it explicitly clear that Santa Claus isn’t real?

Nope. Not one little iota.

Because they “believe in Christmas!” And who can argue with that unless your name is Scrooge or Grinch?

So here I am this year, bending over backwards to make this as magical as possible (and not even entirely sure how I’m going to pull it off because we won’t even be home for Christmas this year) and then my kids go and visit Mr. and Mrs. Claus today.

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It went something like this.

Santa: What do you want for Christmas?

Miss H: Another baby brother.

Santa: Uh…Santa doesn’t do siblings…or electronics…you’ll have to talk to your mom or dad about that.

Miss H looks at us and gives us that mischievous, precocious smile, like “Y’all better be listening over here!”

Miss H: I guess I will settle for a Calico Critters restaurant until my momma and papa come through on another brother.

What!? Throw us under the bus here, lady.

Mr. B pipes up: I really want the Ankylosaurus Zord and a Dino Drill?

Santa: What?

Mr. B repeats himself loudly as I take notes because what the flying fish is a dino drill (my internet search has not procured anything promising, so if you know, please tell me!).

So now I’m in search of something that may not exist and my daughter has her heart set on another baby brother, and I’m frantically trying to make Christmas magical so my kids believe in someone I’ve all ready told them does. not. exist.

Parenthood, you guys. Parenthood. When you do crazy shit to make your kids happy.

Lord knows I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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