Eep! This blog has been stagnant as of late. It’s crazy how life ebbs and flows. Sometime it feels like time is limitless and I have all the time in the world to do as I please, but other times (okay, okay, most of the time) I feel like I’m scrambling just to keep my head above water.
A lot has been going on these past few weeks that I cannot wait to share with you: a fun trip to Florida that includes Mr. B’s favorite Ninjago characters and Sweet M’s first encounter with Donald Duck; a super scary, and admittedly embarrassing, ER trip to a backwoods Georgia hospital where I’m pretty sure The Walking Dead probably starts, some thoughts and feelings on darling baby #4, Mr. B and Miss H’s upcoming surgeries, as well as some “travel” plans coming up (and yes, I know how to use quotations – they’re being used there for a reason!).
Let’s start with Sweet M.
HOW is my baby one whole year old all ready?
Time really began to speed up when I first had Miss H. It was the weirdest experience, but I kept thinking that surely it would eventually slow down.
It did not.
And by the time Sweet M came along it’s gone by so quickly it’s mostly a beautiful, exhausting blur.
I remember drinking a caramel macchiato at Barnes and Noble storytime while the kids played, telling my good friend A that I was having a baby today, while my step mom browsed nearby. I wasn’t having any contractions stronger than the Braxton Hicks I’d been experiencing for weeks; but I knew.
I knew. Finally. After waiting so long (he came at 41weeks + 5 days) that our sweet baby was finally coming.
That evening after I sent J to take the big kids to gymnastics, the contractions finally started. Strong and intense, unlike anything I’d every experienced before.
With Miss H, they were slow and steady and the build up came so rhythmically that I was never caught off guard. With Mr. B they were irregular, but intense. But there were so many moments to gather my thoughts and my breath.
With Sweet M, they just came. Wave after wave after wave. They didn’t ease up. There were no solid breaks. Just hard, intense contractions making me work for that little babe I so desperately wanted; one after another, right on top of each other at times, until finally, just a few short hours later (and I actually thought it was MUCH longer, I never looked on my birth paper to see when he was born until he was close to 6 months. I thought I’d been in active labor all night long, not a mere 5 hours), I pushed that glorious human into this world with J holding my hands, and Miss H and Mr. B present.
Mr. B peeped, “It’s a brother!” And Sweet M’s little body lay on my chest: the world so complete in a way I had never believed it could be.
The universe was silent while it welcomed this tiny soul earth side; into the arms of the momma who had longed and yearned for him for so long.
And yesterday that sweet soul turned one whole year old.
I can say with certainty that the world is a greater place because Sweet M is a part of it. There are more smiles and more laughter because he exists.
He is a fierce little wrecking ball: feisty, tenacious, determined. He’s hilarious and smiley. He’s quiet and pensive and reserves his big smiles only for the people he knows and loves best. He gives so many unsolicited hugs and kisses to his family. He’s so curious and inquisitive; he loves music as if it’s the oxygen he breathes. And cookies. Cookies may be a stronger love than music.
I have moments where I wonder what God was thinking, entrusting me with this amazing human, but I’m so incredibly thankful He did.
Yesterday I made Sweet M a birthday cake. He devoured the icing and offered to share.
There was no big party. Just two close friends and his Grandpa J.
The cake was so much less than perfect.
But the moment, the celebration of Sweet M in this world; it was just perfect.