So I had planned on transferring the majority of my old blog over. I mean, there are like 450 posts – that’s a lot of writing.
But as I read through so many of my old posts, I realized that maybe I didn’t want to bring them over.
Let’s just be honest here.
I was a completely different person when that blog started than what I am now.
And I guess that’s the learning part of it.
But geesh. I was downright awful at times.
Five years ago my life was still very black and white. Black and white served me well though, up until that point in my life. It got me where I am. There was always a very clear cut right and wrong for me. In everything.
The idea of there being a gray area, or – gasp – varying shades of gray, was simply unfathomable.
Now, that got me excellent grades in school and helped me find a guy who met my exceedingly high and difficult standards. But if there is nothing else I’ve learned in parenting, it’s that there simply is no black and white.
That doesn’t mean I don’t view a lot of parenting ideals in black and white still. I’m pretty steadfast on many of my views, but there are a lot of things I realize aren’t a big deal.
As I was telling two of my closest friends a few days ago when I asked them how they didn’t tell me how flat out awful I used to be, I commented that H and B are all ready planning Christmas. Yep, in June. They know what gifts they want and what sort of cookies they want to make for Santa. They’ve asked if they can leave the reindeer carrots and a glitter trail to our house. B advised me that the chimney needs cleaned out and that he is certain Santa Claus does not like almond milk.
Guys. Two years ago I’d have been over here all panicky like, “Wheeeeeere did I go wrooooong!? Don’t they know the true meaning of Christmas? Why are they just asking for gifts!? OMG! I didn’t tell them Santa is real! In fact, I flat out told them he is pretend and we read a whole book about the real St. Nicholas. So whyyyyy do they want to make him cookies? And for Pete’s sakes they know reindeer can’t fly, so why would they play into this silliness?”
No joke. That used to be my train of thought.
And now I’m just like, “Cool. Sounds fun. Whatever rocks your boat, kidlets.”
I used to get my panties in a twist over wording. Wording! Of course I don’t bribe my kids! The horror! I explain to them in the step in which things will occur. “First you get in your car seat. Then you get a lollipop.” Let’s just call a spade a spade. “If you get in your carseat without screaming for a fucking hour beforehand, you can have a lollipop. The whole bag if we can drive across town with zero screeching.”
I know that a lot of it is my hardcore perfectionism gene. And I’ve been working on fixing that (but changing your DNA is HARD). But geez. How did I have friends? How did I not completely suffocate my kids in ridiculous, unbridled, never-quite-there perfectionism?
I’m leaving that whole blog up. Peruse it at your leisure. Chuckle at how crazy uptight I once was (and okay, okay, still am in more ways than I truly want to admit). But I’m just going to leave that there and start fresh (though I may pull things over as I see fit).
And we can all just be thankful that over the years I’ve grown. Oh, how I’ve grown. Painfully sometimes. And yet it’s been for the best as it’s all brought me to this very point in time.
Let’s go forward from here, learning from my ridiculous growing pains, and learn together how to raise sweet, caring, well-rounded, open-minded, self-actualized little people who will make the world a truly better place.