Well Enough


The thing is, I’m a pretty lousy housewife. I’m not tidy or well-organized, and I rarely have a warm dinner waiting when my husband gets home (I do feed our kids, just not him 😬). I’m great at creating a budget, but not so hot at sticking to it because something always comes up with 5 kids (usually a trip to the doctor).

I’m not going to win mother of the year anytime soon. I get frustrated too easily. I spend more time telling my kids it’s good for them to be bored than I do actually enjoying fun activities with them. My “playing” skills are limited to reading them books. All day. I have no grace when it comes to bed times because I need that hour after they’re asleep to recharge the introvert in me. They will probably remember the mother of their childhood constantly saying, “Is that kind or helpful?” about nearly everything.

I spent last night reading through grad school programs and then just laughed; because I won’t have that sort of time for way too many more years to come. And at that point I won’t have anything to write down useful enough to get me accepted. Can shower one handed while holding a newborn? Good at making mediocre dinners while wearing two babies (as depicted)? Stellar butt-wiper of tiny humans? Great middle of the night cuddler even though I hate being touched while I sleep? I’m not sure any of those will help… .

I am constantly saying I am behind on everything in life. There aren’t enough hours in the day to get caught up. Not enough cups of coffee to keep me running. But maybe I’m not so behind. Maybe I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Exhausted, sometimes a little depleted, but gosh darn it, so well loved. I just hope that these 6 humans I live with and adore so very much will one day be able to look back on all this crazy beautiful blur of season and say the same: that I loved them well enough.

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